Do you think the concept of "old sames" exists today? Do you have an "old same," or are you part of a sworn sisterhood? In what ways are those relationships similar or different from the ones in nineteenth-century China?
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17 comments:
Please ignore the "comment deleted" - my bad! Anyway, I have posted about this "old same" question on my other blog. You can find it at www.forksandchopsticks.blogspot.com
I like the idea of having an "old same". I wish I was able to say that I have had that in my friendships. I have always been very close to my sister ( we are a year and a day apart) and my closest friend through school was a boy. Oh well there is still hope!
M
I've been lucky enough to have a few old sames in my life. I think some similiarities could be having misunderstandings and changes in fortune and how that can change a friendship. Differences seem plentiful but have to do with accessibility of information and the different cultural aspects of our lives here and now.
I too have had very close relationships with a few women in my life. It is interesting that they all come from differnet stages in my life--high school, college and work. What is similar about them is that even where our communication may not be daily, our bond, love, and support for each other is always apparent. I love these kind of relationships--one of the best things about being a woman, in my opinion!
When I was reading the part where Lily and Snow Flower met for the first time and they were signing their contract, I kept thinking, wow, can you imagine all these arranged relationships, and the importance these matchmakers played in everyone's lives. Can you imagine arrangements like that happening in this day and age? How crazy would that be.
And then it hit me like a brick to the head, that we are on the brink of a very similar thing happening to us. One of these days, a "matchmaker" is going to sit down, and she's going to match us to a baby, and in so doing she'll "arrange" a relationship that is going to change our lives forever. The thought literally took my breath away for a moment. Up to then, the matching of families seemed like another procedure in a long line of procedures, and now it has more of a cultural significance to me.
WOW Melissa, I didn't even make that connection myself. I guess being an adoptive parent of a baby from China puts a whole new spin on the arrangements in the book.
I have had a few close friends in my life, but none that have remained for more than a few years. I like the idea of "old sames" and wish I had one now.
From Cari @ Wearing Our Party Pants - I wrote a post about this on my blog a while back. http://wearingourpartypants.blogspot.com/2006/08/old-sames.html
I love the concept of "old sames". I feel like I've had frendships in my life that were incredibly strong, but probably not rising to the level of an old same. It seems as though these kinds of relationships were almost necessary to survive in the time and place this book was written. Women seemed to have a very limited amount of control over their own lives. It must have been a tremendous comfort and support to have a special bond with another woman that way.
The concept of "old sames" was very interesting to read about. I have a few good friends from childhood, but as is life we have drifted apart and send only Christmas cards these days. I think having a contract would reinforce that you are friends for life. In the modern age with all of the geographical moves we make, it's tough to stay in touch and commonalities change.
Sarah
http://intrepidnews.blogspot.com/
I was intrigued by the concept of old sames. I am not sure that I'd want one, however.
I recently had to "unplug" from an old friend. I realized that I was remaining friends with her only because we'd been friends for so long. I realized that I not only didn't like or respect her anymore, but that our relationship was dragging me down. It was hard to end it, but I'm still glad that I finally did.
Definately "old sames" exist. I think women all over the world probably have this in commen. It seems women need this kind of friend. I always refer to my friends like this as soulmates. It's like there souls seem to match our own.
This "old sames" concept was the most intriguing to me. I have had a best friend for 37 years (wow!) and it is something that endures through all else in my life. We did the "blood sister" thing when we were about 11 and I guess that would be somewhat comparable to the old sames arrangement except it was one we made ourselves!
Hmmm...old sames...I don't see a lot of "friends for life" anymore, at least not from elem age until old age. Though I do think that anyone who has a sister (and has a good relationship with her sister!) can have something like this...the fact that the two ladies are related is their 'contract'. I had just one brother, and have seen friends come and go as our location and stage of life change. Our world seems much too transient these days for the concept of 'old sames' to work.
I think 'old sames' goes beyond friendship and so with women not being as restricted and confined as they were in this novel, it would be difficult to maintain such a relationship in today's society. I do think women are capable of forming friendships with other women that go far deeper than a lot of male friendships - there's just so much of life's experiences to bond over, and women tend to be more open to sharing their emotions.
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